| Sim City 3000 |
[10 Jun 2007|10:42pm] |
I played this game a lot... (back when it was brand new and the latest Sim City). I played it a lot and then realized how bad I am at it. There are some games that I should just never touch with a ten foot pole. This is one of them. I have a natural talent for causing my Sims undue amounts of grief and unhappiness...which they complained about...a lot...all the time. It didn't matter what I did to try and make their lives better because they were never happy. Weirdly enough my brother turned out to be really good at the game when I let him borrow my copy. His Sims build enormous statues of him and organize parades for him. My Sims rioted in the streets and burned my effigy. Probably a not so subtle hint that I should never run for Mayor of any town.
WHY I SUCKED AT THE GAME:
1) I'M BAD AT GIVING THEM WATER: When I first built up towns I thought, "Bwuahah, I am the God of this world and all will know and fear me!" But my Sims were too busy whining about the lack of water and electricity to fear me. So I got off my lazy butt (uh, figuratively)and built in a bunch of water pipes and electric wires. But my Sims just kept complaining! I couldn't figure out why, so I added about 2,000 more miles of water pipes until you couldn't see anything BUT water pipes if you looked at the underground view. It was like that screen saver people have on their computers gone horribly wrong. In a fit of genius (and a small seizure) I realized that I didn't actually have a water source connected to the pipes. D'oh.
2) I IGNORED MY SIMS: I can only listen to them complain about their poor living situations for so long before I gave up and let them fester and rot. This made my Sims very angry people. Very angry people who hated me. It was not a pleasant combination. Besides, who REALLY needs working electricity and running water? I mean honestly, what a bunch of whiners!
3) I WAS ALWAYS KILLING THEM: I could not keep myself away from the natural (and not so natural) disasters. I would mainly do this every time they rioted or started to burn down buildings. I was not a wise nor merciful leader.
4) THE ADVISERS DESERVED DEATH: I don't care what they told me to do, I never listened to them. All I wanted to say to them was STFU AND STOP TALKING TO MEEEEE! Because they never shut up. Ever. They just kept bothering me and bothering me and bothering me! AUGH!
5) NOT MY FAULT BUT: My firemen would always run in the opposite direction of the fire or wouldn't come out at all. The less said about the crime rate the better. Obviously my firemen and policemen were all morons/cowards/Canadians. (Just kidding! Ha ha! I love you crazy Canadians! Please don't kill me!). I think my city was just trying to kill itself.
And thus I gave up on "Deathsville" and went off to do something I was less bad at. Like sleeping. Someday I may pick up this game again and go around memory lane with it. Until the angry Sims find me on Memory Lane and drag me down Agony Avenue to burn me at the stake on the corner of Hate and Despise Street.
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