| Sim City 3000 |
[10 Jun 2007|10:42pm] |
I played this game a lot... (back when it was brand new and the latest Sim City). I played it a lot and then realized how bad I am at it. There are some games that I should just never touch with a ten foot pole. This is one of them. I have a natural talent for causing my Sims undue amounts of grief and unhappiness...which they complained about...a lot...all the time. It didn't matter what I did to try and make their lives better because they were never happy. Weirdly enough my brother turned out to be really good at the game when I let him borrow my copy. His Sims build enormous statues of him and organize parades for him. My Sims rioted in the streets and burned my effigy. Probably a not so subtle hint that I should never run for Mayor of any town.
WHY I SUCKED AT THE GAME:
1) I'M BAD AT GIVING THEM WATER: When I first built up towns I thought, "Bwuahah, I am the God of this world and all will know and fear me!" But my Sims were too busy whining about the lack of water and electricity to fear me. So I got off my lazy butt (uh, figuratively)and built in a bunch of water pipes and electric wires. But my Sims just kept complaining! I couldn't figure out why, so I added about 2,000 more miles of water pipes until you couldn't see anything BUT water pipes if you looked at the underground view. It was like that screen saver people have on their computers gone horribly wrong. In a fit of genius (and a small seizure) I realized that I didn't actually have a water source connected to the pipes. D'oh.
2) I IGNORED MY SIMS: I can only listen to them complain about their poor living situations for so long before I gave up and let them fester and rot. This made my Sims very angry people. Very angry people who hated me. It was not a pleasant combination. Besides, who REALLY needs working electricity and running water? I mean honestly, what a bunch of whiners!
3) I WAS ALWAYS KILLING THEM: I could not keep myself away from the natural (and not so natural) disasters. I would mainly do this every time they rioted or started to burn down buildings. I was not a wise nor merciful leader.
4) THE ADVISERS DESERVED DEATH: I don't care what they told me to do, I never listened to them. All I wanted to say to them was STFU AND STOP TALKING TO MEEEEE! Because they never shut up. Ever. They just kept bothering me and bothering me and bothering me! AUGH!
5) NOT MY FAULT BUT: My firemen would always run in the opposite direction of the fire or wouldn't come out at all. The less said about the crime rate the better. Obviously my firemen and policemen were all morons/cowards/Canadians. (Just kidding! Ha ha! I love you crazy Canadians! Please don't kill me!). I think my city was just trying to kill itself.
And thus I gave up on "Deathsville" and went off to do something I was less bad at. Like sleeping. Someday I may pick up this game again and go around memory lane with it. Until the angry Sims find me on Memory Lane and drag me down Agony Avenue to burn me at the stake on the corner of Hate and Despise Street.
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| Falsebound Kingdom |
[25 May 2007|07:38am] |
Okay! Okay! I admit it! I'm a huge Yu-Gi-Oh fan! So I thought to myself one day, "You know what would be awesome, Salazar? Playing a Yu-Gi-Oh game!" Clearly at this time I had never even touched one. So I cheerily sauntered into my nearest GameCrazy and proudly bought my copy of "Yu-Gi-Oh: The Falsebound Kingdom"
This may have ruined my chances of ever working there.
So I went home as quickly as possible and popped the disc into my Gamecube, eagerly awaiting the joy that was soon to follow. Unfortunately the only thing that followed was mass confusion and tears of frustration. You see, Falsebound Kingdom is a little different from the other YGO games in the fact that it isn't card based, so you deal with "real monsters".
The basic story-line (if you choose to play with Kaiba) is that you're going over to look at some new virtual game and then through treachery (surprise!)you and your brother Mokuba are sucked into it and forced to play as characters. Kaiba is what is called a "Marshall" and can summon real monsters to fight OTHER Marshalls who have real monsters. So far I was on the same page.
But then...THEN came the mass confusion and vague mental rioting. I was sent on my first mission by the Empire to squish some rebels, which sounded fine to me. You have Mokuba and some other Empire guy with you...uh...who's name currently escapes me because it was really weird. Anyway, random marshall-jerk guy starts trying to tell me how to do everything...but I couldn't really understand anything he said so I set out anyway to try and capture the nearest town.
Well, to my endless amazement I managed to movie my Kaiba icon from one castle to another (at a break neck pace of about .2 miles per hour, why you can't just jump from castle to castle is beyond me) and anyway, I took the nearest rebel town. So I did a little celebration dance. Marshall-jerk then informed me that a rebel Marshall was going to patheticly try at take back the town, and that I should kick his ass.
Well, asses were kicked. Of course, they were mine. So the rebel Marshall comes by and attacks me. Oookay, fine... I try and attack his monsters...right...I won that battle! Hooray! I'm still alive. With me so far? Things started getting bad because he then immediately turns around and comes back. This confused me. I fought him about 20 times in a row before smashing the Gamecube off button and stalking off to kick some babies.
I picked it up later to try again. Yeah, I understand the game now. And I have to ask Can the AI in the game get any dumber?! What could they possibly be thinking?! I haven't lost a single battle since that first time I ran in circles and possible started fighting myself...which means I've been kicking ass and taking names. My Kaiba is now so powerful he can wipe out up to two of the AI's monsters in one single battle, and leave his third at half health. But I think this would be the AI's thought process for what happens next:
Okay...two of my monsters are dead and one is weak. Kaiba's monsters all have full health and are 20 levels greater than mine. This can only mean one thing I should go back there and fight him! I'm pretty sure I'll win this time!
Duuurrr, sure you will!
There is little to no variety during this game. Rundown of gameplay:
1) Get a mission on the main map
2) Go there...fight people...win
3) Go back to main map and get a new mission
It's pretty darn repetitive.
Yeah, now, honestly...actually like playing this game, even if it is kind of dumb. That's how much I love YGO, enough to play and enjoy this game. Besides, Kaiba is always threatening to disembowel people, or rip their tongues out, or kill them in other hilariously violent ways. And violence is always funny.
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| Phoenix Wright FTW |
[17 May 2007|02:52pm] |
Whoever came up with this game obviously vomits awesome, and sweats cool from his very pores. In case you couldn't tell from my Edgeworth avatar and the fact that I have two of the games on my game list and the third on my "I want it now" list, I LOVE the Phoenix Wright series.
So allow me to rant a bit about the first game (it's a good happy rant of joy and love)
Okay, to start with...I am way impressed that someone could EVER make a game that was about a court of law AND fun. I mean, just saying the word LAW or COURT is BORING. SO BORING. That's what I first thought PW was going to be like...I mean seriously, it's a game about a lawyer...of all things.
The best part of the game is what a moron I was when dusting for fingerprints. The game told me to blow on the screen... so I did . HARD. I blew so hard on the screen that I saw spots and had to take a break. Try doing this on public transit. It wasn't until AFTER I made a fool of myself and almost passed out that I figured out you were supposed to blow on the mic (which I didn't even know existed, gimme a break, it was my friend's DS)
Also, are Mia's breasts LEGALLY allowed to pop so fully out of her suit like that? Perhaps that's why she was such a great defense attorney...she could defend herself with her enormous breasts.
Too bad you can't really replay it. Even a memory deficient person such as myself would still remember who all the bad guys were (even if I couldn't recall where or how all the evidence is). Of course, that doesn't stop me from being a spazz about it.
Mmmm, Phoenix Wright goodness.
This was my rant...sort of rant...uh...I just really wanted to talk about Phoenix Wright...
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| Luigi's Mansion |
[02 May 2007|05:51pm] |
I was not terribly impressed with this game. It was cute, but nothing spectacular. It's not the kind of game where I'd come home and say, "Gotta find out what happens next!" It's more of a, "I should probably beat this game because this disc isn't mine." (And I still haven't beaten it)
The game is fun...you just have to make yourself play it.
Good points:
1)When Luigi checks for things, it looks like he's viciously humping whatever it is he's trying to open.
2) It's Luigi, and Luigi is awesome
3) All the ghosts are creative and colorful
4) The map and key system was helpful
Bad Points:
1) The constant door-opening scene got annoying
2) All the ghosts were relatively easy to beat
3) That professor guy is creepy
4) It's not terribly exciting to play
Overall, if you really want to play this game, then don't let me stop you. It isn't bad. But it isn't good either, so I would suggest renting it over buying it.
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| Baten Kaitos |
[27 Apr 2007|07:21am] |
Baten Kaitos. I have plenty to rant about with this game, so before I start, let me stress that I REALLY REALLY like it. But there are a few little things that leave me foaming at the mouth.
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Baten Kaitos Intro scene
http://www.youtube.com/v/8hd4mrXC_K4
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Let's start with the voice acting. I could have done without it. There are few games where the voice acting is SO BAD. Pretty much I had to laugh during all the serious scenes (and I was crying a little too). Let's face it, you could play this game in mute and not miss much (except for everything said that's highly important in the cut-scenes). When I first started playing it I had a hard time getting invested in the characters, simply because they sounded so...fake...and hilarious. You try taking Gibari seriously when one of his attack cries is, "Here comes the wallop express!"
Lyude is particularly bad, I think his voice actor was near death when they recorded him. He has a weak voice that doesn't carry a lot of emotion, which doesn't work at all, because he's a pretty emotional character. And he fights with HORNS during battle and cries out (unemotionally), "You shall not escape!" and other things like that.
Mizuti is just plain annoying. They were going for mystical but all I got was ear-bleeding. Jeebus! If I could mute just one character, it would be Mizuti. I think they had to kick his voice actor repeatedly in the nuts to get the high voice they were going for.
So, overall, voice acting sucks pretty damn bad.
Next thing to rant about is how...tedious...the game can get sometimes. I can clearly remember running my ass off talking to one person who told me to talk to another, who told me to talk to another who told me to talk to the person I first started talking to, and by this time I'm completely lost and don't know how to get back to person number one. Also, you can't progress in the game if you don't talk to all the right people, so you spend a lot of time talking to EVERYONE. It gets annoying after awhile. Pretty soon I was screaming at my TV, "LET ME CONTINUE MY GAME PPPLLLLEEEAAAASE!" But begging does nothing, nor sacrificial gifts of small children.
And the last thing I want to rant about is entirely my fault. It's the reason why I have not even BEAT the game yet (and why I may need to start over to do so)...Blue Guy, Rabbit Chick, Gaicamo. All at once, gang raping my life bar over and over and over again. I am so close to beating the game that it physically hurts. However, when calculating Blue Guy's health, I got it up to somewhere around 2000, and Rabbit Chick is probably a little less and Giacamo is probably around 3000 or more. My strongest person (Kalas) has around 1300 life points, Lyude and Gibari even less. WHY MAKE US FIGHT ALL THREE BOSSES AT ONCE?! That and I keep forgetting to take the burning fire card out of Kalas's deck...so I keep setting him on fire, d'oh.
If I had to rate this game on a scale from 1-10, I would give it an 8. It's a damn good game, and I love playing it, but the voice acting leaves something to be desired (ear plugs) and the tedious talking to everyone leaves me playing for hours and getting 2 minutes into the storyline. I would suggest that anyone reading this goes out and plays this game. It's goooood.
And one more thing
HERE COMES THE WALLOP EXPRESS!
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